well 2019 is off to a way different start than i anticipated. the last few months have been endless doctors appointments and tests and needles and prescriptions and not my idea of how i want to spend my free time. it’s been hard, and it hasn’t been fun. especially when i live in a place that i get to watch my friends tear up the mountain all day when i’m sitting 20 minutes away.
i leave the office and sit in my car w my head on the steering wheel wanting to cry from pain and exhaustion. aside from skiing, i haven’t been able to work out. skiing is not just a fun side activity for me. its so much more than recreation. skiing is therapeutic meditation. it’s the perfect light to moderate exercise, strength and cardio, in the beautiful outdoors, away from screens and technology. it checks all the medical boxes of exactly what i should be doing. skiing is fun, but also so much more.
Right now, I can’t even make it through a whole day skiing because my body is so fatigued, and it breaks my freaking heart.
i wake up, struggle to make it to work, work all day, come home and sleep.
the sad reality of the instagram world, is it’s easy to make it look like nothing’s wrong. it’s easy to paint a pretty picture.
but i don’t want the world to see me as someone struggling and in pain. i still want to show people the fun and be beauty of the outdoors (and my dog). sometimes i wish i wasn’t so good at pretending everything’s ok. what no one sees is the second i leave and sit alone i’m overwhelmed with headaches and frustration and mental exhaustion.
head injuries are no joke. and nothing to take lightly. i got my 10th concussion in 2014 and was diagnosed and medicated for post concussion syndrome. It’s 2019 and i still have not been cleared of that. and it’s hard to accept that this might be the new normal. my baseline might have shifted. the head trauma might have triggered bigger things- a lifelong diagnosis that right now is preliminary.
stay close to your friends. pay attention to the little things, and be a genuine supportive human. we all need those in our lives.
thank you to all the ones who’ve done that for me. i love you all more than you could know
I have found that the key to fighting off the winter blues is getting out and going skiing at least once a week. Find the time to do it and see how much happier you will be! #ski#skiing#snowboarding#winter#snow#sunset